Megan Norenberg
Sept. 9, 2010
Fatal Pile-Up
The pile-up started when two tractor-trailers, one carrying diesel fuel, collided. That is when the dominos affect stating taking place. After the first two vehicles had hit, two more tractor-trailers and 14 cars joined the wreck. Two of the car drivers lost their lives in the pile-up and 20 more were injured. Four out of the 20 injured people obtained life-threatening injuries and two of them had to be air lifted to Memorial Hospital.
Bodies and blood lined Interstate 790 as emergency workers darted from place to place to help the ones in need. Fire chief Tony Sullivan said, “The scene looked like something out of a war zone.” All five of the fire departments ambulances were at the scene along with ambulances from neighboring cities. Police officers at the crash were having a hard time determining who were the drivers and passengers of the cars.
The crash not only created havoc for the victims and the emergency workers but for early morning commuters as well. Interstate 790 was closed well into mid-morning. Commuters were detoured to Interstate 690, which had a three-hour traffic delay.
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Your lead is enough to draw my curiosity and continue to read the next few lines. I am sure that I had many of my facts wrong since it was written so poorly. After reading your story I am compelled to go back and sift through some of the facts since our stories vary so much.
ReplyDeleteI think your lead could be phrased a little differently. That being said, I like your descriptive and informative writing style. Keep it up!
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